Who Am I?*

Who am I? My friends they tell me
I love to create, to sew, to paint,
They say I’m cool and hip and funky,
They ask me for help to decorate.

Who am I? My friends they tell me
I speak with compassion, wisdom and grace,
They say I’m full of insight and thought,
As though I am infused with intellect and peace.

Who am I? They say I bear my
Trials with patience and poise,
They say I smile and do not cry,
As though I had a choice.

Am I really what these people say?
Or am I only what I know myself to be?
Anxious and weary and sad,
Struggling to get through this hour, this day, this week.
Longing for friends with whom to sit and be silent,
Restless for human contact,
Thirsting for someone, anyone, to know me.
Like a wave tossed by the sea,
Full of fear in anticipation of future events,
I am unwillingly submissive to the tumult of emotions within.
Weary of thinking, empty from praying,
Ready to give it all away.

Who am I? This or the Other?
Am I one person today and tomorrow another?
Could I be both at once?
How could that be?

Too many questions in my mind,
Mocking me, telling me I am inadequate.
Am I alone in this struggle?
I am not. My God, he knows me.

*inspired by Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s ‘Who Am I?

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